this is my most recent tattoo and it’s on my ankle/foot. like above my heel? i got this in minnesota with my two best friends (hawthorn tree & forget-me-not) and we all got them in the same place. though mine healed horribly! the tattoo guy was definitely not the best. for these tiny tattoos it took like three or four hours for the three of us. not cool buddy! anyways this is sanskrit for friendship and now i suppose the three of us will just have to be friends forever. or end up like WB characters who used to be best friends and got matching tattoos and turned into nemeses. these two ladies, however, i never have to worry about losing. we all live in different cities and only all three meet up every few years, but when we do it’s epic and wonderful and one day we’ll all live in the same city and be able to feel complete.
so that’s it for me and my tattoos. when i first started getting them i only got them on my dad’s birthday and on the anniversary of his death, but after awhile i started getting more flexible with timing. and went from two a year to oneish a year. i have my next few planned out and the next will be in may, on the ten year anniversary of losing him. even though my tattoos may not coincide with dates reminding me of my dad, they do make me think about him and maybe that’s why i keep getting them? ten years later i still think about him every day, but not in a sad way any more. of course it still makes me sad to think about it and sometimes it’s overwhelming to think about, but most of the time i just think about him. maybe it’s something i think he’d like (“oh man dad would have liked that cake”) or something i think he’d hate (“good thing dad didn’t know i forgot to change my oil”). my mom’s dad died when she was 13 so i never knew him, but from what i hear they were pretty close. i remember when i was younger i asked her if she still thought about him ever and she said “every day”. i didn’t really get that and it made me really sad to think that still after 100s of years (i was little… my mom seemed ancient!) she still missed her dad every day. what i didn’t understand was it wasn’t a sad thing. that’s something that will never ever go away. you’ll always miss the people in your life who aren’t there any more, dead or alive. but it isn’t necessarily a sad thing. and at first it might seem overwhelming and devastating and like you’ll never feel normal again, but you figure out what a new normal is. at least that’s how it was for me. it took a long time to get to my new normal and to be okay with the new me (shit like this seriously changes the core of your being! okay not always. for me it did though). but i am here! and i am happy with my life and with myself (though i question both what i want to do with my life and who in the world i am on a daily basis). whoa. tattoo post turned deep. stay tuned for #18 though! it’s gonna be a doozy!